


Shameless, Are We?

by justjunhoes



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Shameless Smut, Twisted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-09-02 04:46:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16779865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justjunhoes/pseuds/justjunhoes
Summary: Human beings are weak. They allow their hearts to accept another person. They allow lust to control them. Shameless, are we?





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey babe. Morning…”

“Hmmm…morning…” Bobby yawns. He turns to face his boyfriend.

“Wake up.” Hanbin plays with his hair.

“Later. 5 minutes. Please.” Bobby whines. He presses his forehead against Hanbin’s chest.

“No more 5 minutes.” Hanbin kisses his temple softly. Bobby looks cute in his arm, sleeping like a baby. “Hmm…okay 5 minutes then.”

Hanbin and Bobby have been together for about 2 years already. They met at a workshop where Hanbin had to leave his vehicle overnight for repair but he had no transport. Bobby happened to be there to pick up his vehicle offered to give him a ride. Since then, their love story began.

There were ups and downs in their relationship but that never stopped them from getting back together. They love each other so much or they think they are.

**xxx**

“WHERE IS THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER?”

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT 9 IN THE MORNING?” Jinhwan quickly runs to the kitchen. “Dumbass.” He tosses the kitchen towel into the sink, running the tap water to put the tiny fire out.

“Thanks.” Junhoe grins. “Oh come on. Are you mad?”

“Yes. You disturb my morning.” Jinhwan lets Junhoe pulls him to his chest. “Annoying. Why do I even love you?”

“Because I’m Koo Junhoe.” He laughs. “Okay go back to sleep dear. Sleep as much as you want but remember, we are going to Donghyuk’s house tonight.”

“Do we really have to? I don’t feel good about tonight.”

“Why?” Junhoe rubs his bare back softly. “Hmm. Why baby… tell me.”

“I…I don’t know. Am I scared that I get too drunk?” Jinhwan chuckles. “You could get drunk too you know.

“Ahh…don’t worry. Let’s bring extra clothes and sleep at Donghyuk’s place tonight.” He gives a peck on Jinhwan’s lips.

Jinhwan nods. Somehow, he is still anxious but knowing how Junhoe adores Donghyuk like a brother, he doesn’t protest much.  


**~~~**

“I thought you are not coming.”

“I used my life savings to fly back here just for your party.” Chanwoo hugs Donghyuk tightly. “Sorry I wasn’t here when you and Yunhyeong hyung became official.”

“Life savings pfftt. Rich man like you sure like to talk like this huh?” He hugs the tall man. “Thanks man and it’s okay. You were busy but you made it for tonight.”

“Because I love you.” Chanwoo puts his gift on the table. “Don’t tell Yunhyeong hyung that. He gets jealous.”

Donghyuk lets out a hearty laugh. He continues chatting with Chanwoo, catching up with the younger man while waiting for the guest to arrive.

“I heard that Yunhyeong hyung invited his ex.”

“Ex-crush. Come on. He un-crushed that guy after meeting me.” Donghyuk chuckles. “He loves me okay.”

“I can see that.” He rubs Donghyuk’s neck. “Wild. You better cover that up.” He leaves the kitchen.

“What…” Donghyuk touches his neck then he remembers last night. “Oh…this…” He smiles alone. “Chanwoo, wait.”

The guests have already filled his house compound. After Donghyuk greets everyone, he finally notices Bobby and his significant other. This is their first meeting. He shakes Hanbin’s hand after Bobby introduces to him.

“So you are Kim Hanbin. Nice meeting you.”

“Even. I assume you hear about me from Bobby?”

“Kinda. I read about you. Talked about you then this guy told me that you two are dating.” Donghyuk then offers champagne for Hanbin.

“Sorry. I’m not good with alcohol.”

“Oh! I’m terribly sorry. You can take other drinks at the kitchen. Make yourself at home.” Donghyuk pats his shoulder. He excuses himself to talk with other guests.

“What do you want to drink babe?” Bobby brings him closer. He knows Hanbin is not such a party goer and the look on Hanbin’s face is showing how much the man wants to go home.

“Juice maybe? I don’t know.”

“Alright. Wait here.” Bobby fixes his shirt. “Please smile.”

Hanbin gives the most awkward smile ever but that is enough for him. He grabs a glass of champagne as he approaches the kitchen. Since he hangs out here often, he knows the place well enough.

A strong scent reaches his nose the moment he steps into the kitchen. He looks at an unfamiliar silhouette standing by the sink, busy washing his hands. His throat suddenly decides to mess with him causing him to cough, startling the man.

Junhoe turns to look at the person who just coughed. He feels as though the time has stopped ticking, the sound of people chatting and the music feel like it has gone mute. He catches the pair of sparkling eyes looking at him that he drops the glass to the floor.

Everything goes back to normal.

“Hey man. Are you okay?”

Bobby is breathless looking at this handsome man. There’s no way a person can be this gorgeous. He tries to look cool but only God knows how he feels inside. He prays so he won’t say something stupid.

“I’m okay…okay…” Junhoe gulps. No, he is not okay. How can he be okay when a sexy guy just casually puts his hand on his back? The man has a soft, husky voice. He wants to hear the voice again.

“Come, let me help.” Bobby gets up to find a broom. “Careful there. Don’t get yourself hurt.” He sweeps the broken glass onto the dustpan.

“Thanks.” Junhoe smiles.

“No problem. Are you hurt?”

“No. No.” Junhoe clears his throat. “I’m fine. Thanks again.”

“Sure!” Bobby opens the fridge. “Do you want to drink something?”

“I guess.” He leans against the counter. “I haven’t know your name. You must be Donghyuk’s friend. I saw a photo at the living room earlier.”

“Yes. I am his friend.” Bobby pours soju into the small glass. “I’m Kim Jiwon. You can call me Bobby or Jiwon. Up to you.” He raises his glass. “Cheers.”

Junhoe nods then drinks it in one shot. “Ahh…Bobby…Jiwon. I think I’d call you Jiwon.” He wipes his lips. “I’m Koo Junhoe.”

“Nice meeting you.” Bobby looks into his eyes.

“Nice meeting you too…” Junhoe is distracted with Bobby’s revealing chest. His eyes scan from top to bottom. Heck. He is turned on.

* * *

“Fuck!” Junhoe runs his fingers through Bobby’s hair. “Fuck Jiwon ughh…” He looks down at the man who has his dick in his mouth.

“Soon…” Bobby smirks. He rubs Junhoe’s navel to calm him down as he sucks the whole length again.

Junhoe closes his mouth with his palm, hoping that could stop him from moaning too loud. Thank goodness the guests and the music are loud enough to drown his moan. Still, he is afraid someone could catch him but with his cock in Bobby's mouth, he just said _'screw this, let people catch them'._

He gasps when he feels Bobby’s finger inside his hole.

“Ji…Jiwon ahhh…”

“Yes baby?” Bobby slides another finger.

Junhoe could feel his phone vibrates. Shit. He has to answer this.

**_“Where are you, Junhoe?”_ **

“I…uh….toi…toilet…” He bites his lips. His body shakes when Bobby puts another finger then twists his fingers inside him.

 _ **“Toilet? Are you okay?”**_ Jinhwan hears a weird sound. **_“Junhoe?”_**

“Ya! Ya! Just…stomachache…”

_**“Oh. Okay then. Take care of your business first.”** _

“Okay. Okay.” He ends the call.

“Stomachache huh?” Bobby licks the shaft slowly while he repeatedly rims Junhoe’s hole.

“Shut ughh…I have to come up with something ughhh…” He drops his phone to the floor.

Bobby just nods as he keeps sucking his dick. He moves his head slowly then speeds up and slow again, feeling the veins and the rough skin on his lips. Junhoe’s dick feels so good in his mouth. He sucks the precum hard like he has never sucked a dick before.

Junhoe jerks his hips as he comes in Bobby’s mouth. He almost knocks the detergent to the floor. His body shakes when Bobby keeps sucking his dick.

“Fuck baby you taste so good.” Bobby pulls him for a kiss.

Junhoe kisses him back. Greedy and full of lust, he darts his tongue into Bobby’s mouth as their kiss become passionate. While Bobby is busy unbuttoning Junhoe’s shirt, the man unbuckles his pants. Curses because the belt is slowly him down.

“Patience babe. Damn.” Bobby gladly pushes his own pants down. “Turn around.”

Junhoe obliges. He kicks his pants away, allowing him to spread his legs for Bobby. He could feel Bobby’s hands caressing his peach then spanks him hard, making him moan loud. He really is thankful for the music at this party.

“You have been so good huh. Already spreading your legs for me.” Bobby tweaks his nipples hard.

“Uhhh…I…” Junhoe shuts his eyes. He can’t speak with the man grinding his cock against his butt.

“You gonna remember this dick forever.” Bobby wets his cock, teasing the hole with the tip first.

He pushes slowly then pulls out. He loves listening to Junhoe’s cries begging for his dick. He holds his waist as he pushes in again, slowly until they are skin to skin. He gives a soft kiss on Junhoe’s shoulder.

“Fuck me. Ride my cock.”

Bobby’s sexy whisper is really making Junhoe loses his mind. It is so hot. He loves when Bobby breathes at his neck then bites a little, not too hard to leave a mark. He whines loud as he feels Bobby’s fingers abusing his nipples.

Junhoe begins to rock his hips. Riding Bobby’s dick like he is chasing the end of the world. He feels dirty but he is so aroused that he doesn’t care anymore. With Bobby talking dirty and spanking his butt, he rides his cock harder.

“Good baby uhhh…good…” Bobby reaches for his cock. “Keep riding baby. I’ll take care of this.” He kisses Junhoe’s back while his hand strokes his cock.

Junhoe holds the washing machine for support. He feels his muscle tighten as the pressure builds up. He watches Bobby’s hand fondling his cock as he bounces off of Bobby’s dick. His breathing becomes heavy.

“FUCK! Jiwon fuck ughh.” Junhoe comes in force, spilling his load onto Bobby’s palm and to the floor.

“You are beautiful and taste so good?” Bobby licks the cum on his hand. “Unfair.” He pushes Junhoe against the wall, pumping himself in and out of the slutty hole.

“Shut…up…ugh Jiwon fuck there. There.” Junhoe scrapes the wall.

“You are loud. Does my cock feel good inside you baby?” Bobby draws him closer to his chest as he pounds harder.

“Y-yes…yes…it feels…good…” Junhoe strokes his own cock with Bobby ramming inside him.

Bobby groans as he could feel himself nearing to come. He pounds hard one last time before filling Junhoe’s hole with his hot load. Both of them are in mess and sweating from their activity in this small laundry room. He watches Junhoe kneels before him as he pulls out.

“Whore.” He smirks.

“Maybe I am.” Junhoe licks the cum leaking on Bobby’s cock before he slowly sucks the whole length.

Bobby’s phone now is ringing. He slides to answer with another hand holding Junhoe’s head. Of course, it is hard for him to talk that he pretends that he just woke up from a nap.

“I’ll be…out there…in a bit. See you.” He ends the call. “Fuck Junhoe fuck.” He thrusts into Junhoe’s mouth and comes again.

Junhoe plops to the floor to catch his breath. He wipes his lips, suddenly processing what just happened. How it happened? How did the two of them end up in this laundry room?

It started with them asking about each other then praising, admiring, then it goes into touching. Bobby trapped him against the kitchen counter and Junhoe knew he wanted the man so he didn’t push Bobby away. Instead, his hands were already caressing Bobby’s exposed chest. The next thing he remembered, he pulled Bobby for a kiss. It was a rough, lusty kiss.

“I hope no one noticed that we were gone at the same time.” Bobby is done wearing his clothes back.

“Uh…ya…” Junhoe slowly gets up. His knees trembles a bit as he takes his time to put on his pants. “That was…”

“Amazing?” Bobby smirks. He wipes the stain on the floor. Good thing it is not carpeted floor.

Junhoe bites his lips. His used hole still feels like Bobby’s dick is drilling him. It feels fresh. “Yes…it was.”

“If you want to feel it again…give me a call.” His index finger dances along Junhoe’s body.

“Aren’t you dating that Binnie guy?”

“Aren’t you too? Jinan Jinan?” Bobby fixes his belt properly. “Shameless, are we?”

**~~~**

The night still feel like yesterday when in fact it was two weeks ago. Junhoe can’t stop thinking about Bobby. Everything about Bobby feels so good and hot. Hot. Bobby is hot. The smile on Bobby’s face is deceiving. Man looks cute but actually hot as fuck.

“Are you okay, Junhoe?”

“Ya. I’m okay.” Junhoe smiles. He realizes he has been daydreaming about Bobby.

“You don’t seem okay lately. Like you are lost. Confused. Hmmm… what else?” Jinhwan pauses. He notices something is off lately. “Distracted. Ya. Distracted. Is everything okay at work?” He puts his arms around his neck.

“Yes baby. Everything is okay at work. A little stress is normal though but I’m okay.” Junhoe rubs his arms. “Aish babe. Don’t worry.” He pulls the latter onto his lap. “I’m okay.”

“Good then.” Jinhwan gives a peck on his lips.

Jinhwan is not satisfied with the answer but he gives the benefit of the doubt. He doesn’t want to think negatively about Junhoe. After all, Junhoe loves him only. He keeps reminding himself about this but somehow, he still feels uneasy.

As for Bobby, he doesn’t have to try hard to hide anything because Hanbin asked nothing. Plus on that sinful night, Hanbin finally had a great time because he happened to meet his old friend whose name Bobby doesn’t give a damn. Hanbin was distracted that night and Bobby is safe.

What Bobby felt was lust yet he is actually attracted to Junhoe. He feels like falling in love for the first time. The emotion he felt when he first met Junhoe’s eyes was the same when he fell in love with Hanbin but stronger, different. The urge to just ditch Hanbin and runs towards Junhoe is so high.

How he wishes it is easy.

Runs with Junhoe, flees the country and live with a new name. Just the two of them. Junhoe is cute and dumb, which makes him so in love with the man. Junhoe told him how he mistook other car as his car and was wondering why it couldn’t be unlocked.

Dumb but a cutie. A Greek God. Face sculptured by God with height like a model and beautiful physique. Junhoe’s laugh is haunting him at night and the scent. Junhoe smells like vanilla. Sweet.

“I’m going for a business trip for a week.” Hanbin breaks the silence.

“Business trip? A week? Damn that’s long.” Bobby pouts.

“I was gone for a month before this, remember?” Hanbin shakes his head, smiling looking at his boyfriend pout. “Only a week. It won’t be that long.”

“Hmmm. Okay. I’m gonna miss you.” Bobby rests his head against his stomach after saying the white lie.

“Me too.” Hanbin kisses his head.

He helps Hanbin to pack that night. He can’t wait to fuck Junhoe in this bedroom, on the bed he shares with Hanbin.

_Shameless, are we?_


	2. Chapter 2

“His name is Koo Junhoe. Works as a curator. Owns a wine business with his significant other, Kim Jinhwan. Been together for almost 1 year now.”

“He often goes to buy Americano. Usually noon. The same cafe.”

“During his off days, he would always be seen wearing bucket hat, walking his puppy or exercise at the nearby gym.”

“He likes to eat but he somehow has slowed down ever since he hits the gym.”

* * *

“You cook all these?” Junhoe leans against the wall as he drinks the hot chocolate drink.

“Maybe.” Bobby chuckles. “Okay I ordered them. You act like you can cook.”

Junhoe clears his throat. “Exactly. I know how food looks like when they are self made or prepared because… I don’t cook.” He puts his arms around Bobby’s neck, leaning for a kiss.

“Hmmm… no wonder…” Bobby holds his waist.

Both of them know they won’t touch the food first when their hands are already busy caressing each others’ body. Seconds later they are already skin to skin. Their lips never stop kissing. Moans and dirty talk drown the music played at the background.

“Bed.” Bobby orders him.

“Ummm…uhhhh…” Junhoe nods.

_Guilt._

Neither Bobby nor Junhoe feel that way. The photo frames hang on the wall; photos of Bobby and Hanbin are watching the sin both Bobby and Junhoe are committing right now. If photos could talk, the photos would be the witness. Witness of forbidden love and lust.

They are indeed in love. Junhoe expresses his love through poems and paintings while Bobby shows his love in words, songs for Junhoe and through his actions. Secretly dropping by for quick lunches and sneaking out to the rooftop of random building so they could be in each other arms.

Their love overrides guilt. They forget they have their commitment as they are busy painting their love story. The _‘I love you’_ they say, they mean it. Again, the thought of running away leaving everything behind crosses their mind but they wish life works that way.

Junhoe clenches the blanket tightly as Bobby takes him from behind. Slow strokes, Bobby smothers his back with kisses and soft bites while he tells him how beautiful he looks. A small laughter sounds like a music to Bobby’s ear. Junhoe can’t hide his smile whenever Bobby showers him with cliche cheesy words.

Bobby nuzzles against Junhoe’s neck as he comes. His hand reaches for Junhoe’s manhood, carefully rubbing the shaft. Junhoe’s muscle tightens with every touch of Bobby’s hand around his dick then he releases his load onto Bobby’s hand. He watches Bobby licks his own fingers.

“You love it don’t you?” Junhoe pulls him for a sloppy kiss.

“Not as much as I love you.”

“I love you too.” Junhoe touches his jaw. Then they kiss again.

They kiss softly with giggles fill the room. Bobby teases his bleached eyebrow and the man whines but he shuts him up by kissing him again. They spend the next few minutes like this. Kissing, holding hands and dreaming of being together without having to hide.

The rings on their fingers mean nothing anymore when they themselves disrespect the rings. They live in their own world now.

“I’m hungry.” Bobby glances at him.

“Hungry?” Junhoe runs his fingers through his hair. “Let’s eat then.” He watches Bobby stretches his arms and legs while still resting his head on his tummy. Cute.

“Hmmm… let’s…”

“Kim Jiwon! At least put your pants on.”

Bobby just laugh out loud, making Junhoe smile from ear to ear. Silly.

~~~

“You know him?” Junhoe widens his eyes.

Junhoe and Jinhwan are at a restaurant for some dinner when they stumbled upon Hanbin and Bobby. They steal glances, pretending they don’t know each other.

“Yes.” Jinhwan smiles.

“Since when?” Bobby looks at them.

“Hmmm remember when I said I met someone at Donghyuk’s party? He’s the one that I said.”

“Ohh! Sorry I don’t recall your name.” Bobby extends his hand to shake Jinhwan’s hand. “I’m bad with names.” More like his mind is only full with Junhoe at this moment. “I’m Kim Jiwon or you can call me Bobby.”

“That’s okay. Kim Jinhwan here. Nice meeting you. Uhhh this is my boyfriend, Koo Junhoe.”

“Oh your boyfriend. Hello there, Koo Junhoe.” He rubs Junhoe’s palm gently as they shake hands.

“Hi. Can I call you Jiwon?”

“Up to you.” Bobby smiles. “Well, let’s continue our intro to each other with some food together.”

They agreed.

Bobby is distracted during dinner. Distracted because God’s finest creation is sitting opposite him. He could feel Junhoe’s leg rubbing against his legs. Sneaky. They pretend to be in awe and full of questions when Jinhwan and Hanbin talk about them, introducing more about them.

Bobby listened enough. He had learned many things about Junhoe already.

“So what do you do, Jinhwan?”

Bobby diverts the attention to Jinhwan now before moving on to Hanbin then he asks how they two know each other.

“We have been friends since…university? Right?” Hanbin looks at Jinhwan.

“Ya! I was already in my third year when I knew Hanbin. He is a nice junior, nice friend too.” Jinhwan smiles. “Then uhhh…what happened?”

“Ah ya. I moved.” Hanbin looks at them. “That’s how we lost contact. Jinhwan hyung is a popular guy in uni but he keeps things to himself so nobody really has his contact.”

“I didn’t know you came back to Seoul.” Jinhwan looks into Hanbin’s eyes.

“But glad we met. Such a small world after all.”

“So nice to meeting you again.”

Jinhwan and Hanbin have their own story but it was in the past. Maybe they miss each other but they don’t have the heart to ruin their existing relationship with their significant other. They just hope the old flame doesn’t spark again. They can’t afford this.

University love story.

A lot of people knew Hanbin and Jinhwan dated. They were sort of the it couple. A freshman dating a senior, snatching a popular senior then crushed the dreams of other students who were drooling over Jinhwan, of course almost everyone knew about their relationship.

The past is in the past. The flame must die.

~~~

“I didn’t know you have this shirt.”

Junhoe maintains his cool. Jinhwan is separating their clothes before keeping them then his eyes catch an unfamiliar shirt. He swears he has never seen it but then Junhoe often wears his favourite comfortable shirt. He assumes it is one of the shirt that is kept deep inside the closet but he is still curious.

It’s not like he never goes through Junhoe’s closet.

“Oh! Well…I bought it online.” He brings his attention back to the television.

“I see.” Jinhwan is not satisfied with the answer. The shirt doesn’t smell like Junhoe when he first saw the shirt earlier. The cologne isn’t what Junhoe has been using. “This doesn’t look new.”

“Uhhh…ya…I have it for quite some time.” He lies again.

“Okay then.”

Jinhwan leaves to his room. The fear is chasing him. The negative thoughts lambaste in his mind are haunting him. He wishes he could scream out loud so he could live in peace, free from these negative thoughts. He fights his inner thoughts which are bombarding him right now. 

_Cheating?_

_Junhoe would never do that. No. No._

_But notices he hardly touches you anymore? Don’t you miss his hugs and kisses? Miss his cheesy praises?_

_Ya…I miss….you are right….he hardly touches me anymore._

_Hmm…when was the last time you slept with him?_

_I don’t remember._

_Do you notice he always has his phone in his hands? I wonder why…_

_But he doesn’t lock his phone. I’ve checked. There’s nothing._

_Smart…why don’t you…stalk him?_

_That’s creepy._

_But don’t you want to know the truth?_

_What if he is just busy and the work is stressing him out._

_Stop defending him. Stop trying to be positive. Read his poems._

_His poems?_

Jinhwan waits till late night. He notices Junhoe fell asleep on the couch in the living room. Perfect. He searches for the brown notebook but fails to find it. He almost gives up so he decides to lay down first.

“Haish. This bed sheet needs to be washed.”

He pulls the bedspread and the comforter then he hears a soft thump on the floor. It’s the brown notebook. Junhoe hides this? Why would Junhoe hide his notebook?

He sits on the floor, staring at the notebook. He’s been contemplating. He never reads Junhoe’s poems. Only Junhoe reads for him. He takes the notebook, placing it carefully on his lap. He flips through a few pages. These poems are too vague for him to pinpoint anything to support his negative thoughts. One poem catches his attention.

“When I Tell You That I Love You”

 _When I tell you that I love you_  
_I’ll hug you with a warm smile_  
_I want to let you feel it_

 _With the words ‘I love you’, I want to let you feel my heart_  
_With the smile, I want to let you feel that it’s not a lie_  
_With the hug, I want to let you feel how much is my love for you_

Vague.

Jinhwan doesn’t know when was this poem, hoping it is not recent. He flips to the next page and finds more poems. Part of him feel relieved but the other part of him is still uneasy. Junhoe has been writing poems these days. The poem could be very recent. His becomes uneasy again.

“Koo Junhoe…who is that person in your heart right now?”

~~~

One fine Friday morning, Hanbin suggested for a road trip.

“Road trip? All of sudden?” Bobby looks at him.

“Well…it’s been so long since the last time I hike up a mountain so why not? Plus it is our chance to breathe some clean, fresh air. Far away from the city. Don’t you want that?”

“Hmmm…”

“Come on, baby.” Hanbin crawls next to him. “We can spend quality time together. We haven’t been spending time together for a while you know.” He rests his head on his shoulder.

“Okay. I can’t say no to my baby.” Bobby caresses his head.

“Excellent! I invited Jinhwan and Junhoe along too.”

“Oh!” Bobby’s mood suddenly lighten up. “You have planned this huh?”

“Yup. All four of us. I’ve book a cabin for us. We’ll share a room of course and the other couple in other room. We have kitchen and all that.”

“Sounds perfect. Maybe we should have barbeque night.”

Hanbin nods. He really misses hiking and some clean air. They start to pack already as they are leaving the first thing in the morning. Bobby is still surprised but he’s excited for this road trip. He gets to meet Junhoe. No wonder the man insists that he would meet him again this weekend.

Morning.

They take turn to drive until they reach the cabin. Jinhwan and Junhoe arrive moments after them. Hanbin already changed his clothes as he is ready to climb the mountain.

“Ahhh…but I hate hiking.” Jinhwan complains. “I think I want to try fishing?”

“Fishing? You don’t have the patience.” Junhoe teases.

“Let me develop the patience.”

“Suit yourself.” Junhoe lays down on the couch.

“Wait. Don’t tell me you are just going to laze around?” Hanbin glances at him.

“Let me rest first. I drove all the way here while this tiny man slept throughout the journey.” He shuts his eyes.

“You didn’t let me drive.”

“Okay love birds. Stop fighting.” Bobby shakes his head. “Ahhh. I think I wanna go for a swim. I read that there is waterfall somewhere near.”

“Waterfall? Can I come?” Junhoe looks at him.

“But you are scared of water.” Jinhwan reminds him.

“Uhmm…I can just…sit on the rock. There should be shallow area right?”

“Yes. Kiddy area.” Bobby laughs, earning a pillow right to his face.

“Okay you all have fun doing whatever. See you all later.” Hanbin leaves the cabin.

“Wait for me.” Jinhwan chases him.

Junhoe and Bobby exchange looks with a sly smile on their faces, remembering something that they have been planning since last night. Both of them leave the cabin about 10 minutes later.

“It’s so cold here.”

“Just say you want me to hug you.” Bobby pulls him closer.

“Shut up Jiwon. They might catch us.” He still allows Bobby’s arm clasp on his waist.

“Then why did you agree to follow me to the waterfall?” Bobby gives a peck on his lips. “Oh I know now. You want me.”

Junhoe snorts and gets another kiss from Bobby. He just smiles with every kisses he gets from Bobby. The man loves kissing him and he is not complaining. He loves Bobby’s lips on his.

“Whoa.” Junhoe is mesmerized by the beauty of this waterfall.

“I know right?” Bobby takes his shirt off and puts it aside together with his bag.

“You are so sexy.” Junhoe bites his lip.

“Am I?” He touches his body just to tease Junhoe. The man is drooling over him now. “Thanks.” He flexes his arms.

Junhoe keeps biting his lip as his eyes only looks at Bobby from top to bottom. He curses under his breath. He wants that body against his body now. But screw it. He can’t swim. They could have some action in the waterfall. Sucks being him at this moment.

He watches Bobby taking off his shorts. The butt may not be round but that’s some nice butt he love to grab when they make love. Bobby’s shoulder blades look sexy as fuck now as the man is stretching his arms. The tattoo on his back makes him want to run towards the man and licks the tattoo.

He sits on a rock with his legs dipped inside the waterfall.

“Babe!”

“What?” Junhoe looks at Bobby who is standing on the other side. “What the hell Kim Jiwon. Get down.”

“I’m coming down!” Bobby jumps into the waterfall.

Junhoe almost screams when Bobby jumps. Brave soul. Couldn’t be him. Bobby appears on the surface of the water again with a big smile on his face. Junhoe loves that smile. One of the reasons he falls for Bobby. The smile. The beautiful smile that keeps his mood high up. The smile he wishes to wake up to everyday.

“Was that nice?”

Bobby nods. “Refreshing.” He pushes his hair behind.

Junhoe takes a polaroid photo of Bobby then he pins the photo in his notebook. It is the notebook he uses to write poems. He glances at Bobby who is having the time of his life swimming in the waterfall. His head hatches an idea for a new poem.

_Koo Junhoe and Kim Jiwon. Sneaky._

_The shameless deed you two are doing behind Hanbin and Jinhwan’s back with no guilt. Do you have fun doing this? Do they ever cross you two minds that Hanbin and Jinhwan would get hurt because of this selfish behaviour?_

_Perhaps both of you are meant for each other. It is just unfortunate that you two met while in relationship with someone else. But love. You can’t stop the feeling. Love is beautiful yet evil. Love could make you happy but it could destroy the people around you, especially if it is a forbidden love. Why bite the rotten fruit when you are fully conscious of your action?_

_Weaklings._

_You allow that to happen, Koo Junhoe and Kim Jiwon._

**_"Sucks being you now..."_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poem translation credit to (@ikonmypride)


	3. Chapter 3

Happiness seems evil sometimes. You have to be selfish in order to achieve that happiness. You can’t always think of other people that you had to forgo your own happiness. It does sound selfish, in a way, that you hurt someone who you used to care about.

Love. Another emotion that seems evil. Junhoe and Bobby are far too deep in love with each other. It’s bad. They fell in love at first sight but at wrong timing; when both are already in a current relationship with other people. But love is so strong. Could they achieve that without hurting anyone else?

* * *

“Don’t worry. They still aren’t here yet.” Bobby wears his pants again. “I wish I could cuddle longer.” He touches Junhoe’s face.

Junhoe and Bobby just woke up after an intense and hot love making session they did earlier. After spending about an hour at the waterfall, they feel the need to touch each other again. The walls at the cabin were the witness of their impatient self as they kissed passionately from the door until they found their way to the bedroom.

“Hmmm… me too.” Junhoe sits. He watches Bobby picking their clothes from the floor then hangs his clothes properly. “Jiwon…”

“Yes?” He sits facing Junhoe.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” He leans for a kiss. “Now…sleep…or do something. Act natural. See you again later.” He kisses him again.

Junhoe whines. “Don’t go yet.” He clings onto Bobby. “Don’t go yet.” He repeats, pressing his lips on Bobby’s arms.

“Baby…is there something on your mind?”

“When are we going to tell them?” He looks at Bobby.

“When we are ready. Are you ready to come clean?” Bobby cups his face. “If you are ready…then we will tell them.”

“What if I’m not ready? What if I just want to run away with you far from this place...far from them?” Junhoe looks into his eyes. “Would you save me if something happen?”

“Baby…what are you talking about?” He holds his cheeks. “Nothing would happen. I’ll always protect you okay? Nothing would happen.” He pulls him into his embrace, comforting him with kisses.

Junhoe nods. He melts instantly in Bobby’s arms. Slowly, both of them lay on the bed again. Hugging and kissing with Bobby’s pants returns to the floor. Bobby takes him from behind. They moan when they become one, fingers locked with each other as Junhoe takes every thrusts Bobby gives.

Bobby whispers comforting words to ease his worries with some ‘I love you’ as he pounds from the back. Junhoe cries listening to those words. How he loves the man so much and would do anything so he could be with Bobby.

Soft kisses everywhere on Junhoe’s neck, shoulder and back. Bobby leaves a mark on Junhoe’s neck and the latter moan softly, not caring if anyone hears him. He chants Bobby’s name again and again as the pressure builds up. The head of his dick gets sensitive and his heart is beating fast. He is close to come.

Bobby holds his waist gently as he comes first, filling Junhoe’s used hole. Junhoe feels the pleasure shooting along his shaft to the head before he comes all over the bed sheet. They stop to catch their breath. He could feel Bobby’s lips tracing down his butt.

“Jiwon!” He covers his mouth as he feels Bobby’s tongue is devouring his hole. “Jiwon…please…don’t…stop…” He clenches the bed sheet.

“Ummm…” Bobby spreads his cheeks.

It feels dirty but Junhoe loves it. The sensation he feels at his hole with his dick twitches when Bobby’s sloppily sucks and licks him make him moan louder. Bobby’s hand wrapped around his dick and he jerks his hips to pleasure himself.

“I wanna…be inside you again…” Bobby orders him to lay on his back. “Good. My princess is good.” Bobby kisses his ankles as he spreads his legs.

“Jiwon…” Junhoe gets shy when Bobby calls him ‘princess’.

“You look so cute when you blush.” Bobby smirks.

While Junhoe and Bobby are busy in their own world, Jinhwan cries in the comfort of Hanbin’s arms. He is so wasted. He talks about how Junhoe feels different lately, how he feels a distance with Junhoe, how Junhoe seems to be happy in a world that Jinhwan is not allowed to enter.

“Am I lacking something?” Jinhwan looks at him.

“I don’t think so. You are perfect. Anyone is a fool for letting you go…like I did…” Hanbin touches his cheeks.

_The old flame…could the old flame reignite?_

“You had no choice back then…you were still young.” Jinhwan forces a smile. He tries to sit up straight again but his head feels heavy. He pours another one but a hand stops him.

“That’s enough bbuyo…” Hanbin takes the bottle from his grip. He then just realized he calls Jinhwan with the nickname he gave to the petite man.

“You still remember…” Jinhwan looks at him.

“I remember a lot of things…from the day we met…till the day I let you go.” Hanbin stares at the bottle of soju. “I should have not let you go.”

“I can’t lie. I miss you. Sometimes…” Jinhwan smiles a bit. “But Junhoe…I’m seeing him now.”

“I know.” Hanbin pats his back. “That’s okay. Let’s not talk about the past okay?”

Hanbin couldn’t hide how he feels towards Jinhwan. He hates the devil laughing at him now. The devils are working hard to create some sparks between him and Jinhwan. Every time he puts the fire away, the devils work hard again. He hopes the devils give up. He thinks about Bobby at time like this.

But who is Kim Hanbin?

Just a human being, lost after the devils whisper in his ears.

Hanbin wakes up next to Jinhwan with no string attached. His head feels like he was knocked by blunt object. It was so painful to even get up. He glances at the elder man who is still in deep slumber.

“Sleep well. Don’t tell anyone about this.” He gets up but he feels a weak grip around his wrist. “Hmmm…hyung?”

“Don’t go yet.” Jinhwan’s voice sounds hoarse.

“But hyung…before they catch us.” Hanbin says that but he still lets Jinhwan holds his hand tightly. “Before…”

“Did you regret spending time with me…the night with me?”

“No.” Hanbin answers almost immediately.

Hanbin did not lie. He loved every second of their love making. The flame is strong, they couldn’t escape or they think they couldn’t escape. Hanbin was sober enough to stop drunkard Jinhwan from removing his clothes but he did not stop him.

“Me too…” Jinhwan whispers.

Hanbin leans to kiss Jinhwan’s lips; hard and passionate kiss. Defeated again.

~~~

Jinhwan feels like he had a dream.

“Are you okay?” Junhoe notices Jinhwan has been zoning out.

“Uh? Ya. I’m okay.” Jinhwan smiles a bit. “Are you going anywhere today?”

“Just to buy foods for our barbeque night tonight.” He smiles. “Going with Hanbin by the way.”

Junhoe thought it is the best way; to go out with Hanbin instead. He doesn’t want to raise any suspicion. That’s what he has been doing throughout their stay here. He goes out with Bobby, Hanbin and of course with Jinhwan. Sure, nothing’s wrong going out with Bobby but he couldn’t do that too often.

“Oh right. Sure.” Jinhwan smiles.

Jinhwan is now left alone with Bobby. He listens to Bobby humming a familiar song. He keeps quiet trying to figure out. Oh. He knows now. It is Junhoe’s favourite. Of course, it is normal for two or more people to love the same song but Jinhwan just doesn’t feel like it.

“So you like the song too?”

“Sorry?” Bobby looks at him. “Ahhh… Lively Salmon… yes I like… no I love the song.” He smiles.

“I see.” Jinhwan keeps looking at him. “We haven’t really got the chance to talk right?”

Bobby nods. “Sorry. You are right. We only know our names.” He chuckles.

“Ya.” Jinhwan smiles. “So…how long have you been dating Hanbin?”

“About 2 years. Time flies.” Bobby glances at him. “And you?”

“1 year plus.” Jinhwan clears his throat. “I really love Junhoe. I don’t know what would I do without him.”

Bobby just smiles. He focuses on the rubik cube instead but still unable to solve it, especially how Jinhwan asks if he loves Hanbin. He nods, declaring that he loves Hanbin but he doesn’t elaborate much when his mind is all about Junhoe.

 _‘What do you think about cheating? Your opinion about it?’_ Jinhwan is only brave enough to say this in his head. He looks at Bobby again, trying to put words properly to ask more questions.

“So…do you believe in love at first sight?”

“Sort of. I guess it depends on the person also. I used to not believe in love at first sight until I experienced it myself.” Bobby puts the solved rubik cube on the table.

“Was Hanbin a love at first sight?”

Bobby was about to answer when he hears the car engine outside. Hanbin and Junhoe are back from their grocery shopping. He looks at Jinhwan.

“To answer that…no. It took time.” He gets up to greet the two of them. “Hey. Back already? Come. Let me help.”

Obviously Jinhwan is not satisfied with Bobby’s answer. He still wants more so he could relax his mind. He is afraid that his hunch is correct but he needs some evidence. Can’t barge in without proper arguments right?

That night.

“It’s still not fully cooked. Yah. Koo Junhoe.” Hanbin laughs. He puts the chicken back onto the grill.

“I’ve told you many times.” Junhoe grills it again. “Hey babe. Want more pork ribs?” He hopes Bobby won’t answer him because he knows Bobby could be careless a bit.

“Yes.” Jinhwan approaches him.

Thank goodness, Junhoe thought to himself. He puts the meat on Jinhwan’s plate. “Eat well babe.”

They sit together at the campfire, enjoying the grilled meat and some drinks. Bobby takes his guitar as he serenades the group with his singing. Jinhwan praises his voice then suggests him to sing Lively Salmon together with Junhoe.

“No way. You like the song too?” Junhoe should give himself a pat on his back for being a great actor. He KNOWS Bobby loves the song and they sang it together before.

“Yes! Oh wow. You like the song?” Bobby smiles happily.

“What song is that? Great. You two can sing together.” Hanbin looks at them. “Let me take my camera.”

Then the two of them sing together like how they have always sang the song. Their voices match perfectly as they sing with passion and some smiles, exchanging eye contact and feel like they are the only ones here.

“Wow. Encore. Encore.” Hanbin laughs. He turns to look at Jinhwan. “What about you? Why don’t you sing too?”

“Oh. Okay. Hmmm… let me see.” Jinhwan thinks. He starts to sing a song called After All These Years by Journey.

Hanbin stares at Jinhwan. It was their song. Their song. Jinhwan sang it during their first date. When their thought their relationship could last long, they sang this song together. But of course, life doesn’t work the way they planned. First year after graduating was tough for Jinhwan and final year was mean for Hanbin. Time constraint, lack of communications, misunderstanding had lead to break up.

“You have nice voice. Like honey.” Bobby smiles at him.

“Thanks.” Jinhwan almost tears up. “Uh…I need to pee.” He quickly leaves the three of them.

“He looks like he remembers his first love or something. Don’t you think so?” Junhoe looks at them.

“I think so too. He puts so much emotion there.” Bobby agrees.

Hanbin keeps quiet for a moment. “Uhhh..do you guys want anything to drink? Let me get more beers.” He gets up.

Junhoe looks at Hanbin until the man disappears from their sight. “Well…”

“I gotta say…you deserve the Oscar award for best male actor.” Bobby smirks.

He snorts. “Shut up. You deserve that too.” He glances around. “Hmm…I wish I could be in your arms right now.”

“I wish.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“That. That face…that voice. I hate it.”

“Oh really?”

“Kim Jiwon.”

“I love when you say my name…especially during sex.”

Junhoe chokes when Bobby says that. He coughs so hard, he feels like the insides are going to rupture soon. With tears in his eyes and still coughing, he hits Bobby’s arm.

“I’m sorry! Gosh!” Bobby rubs his back. “Sorry baby. I’m really sorry.” He couldn’t help but to laugh again, earning a punch to his stomach.

“Are you planning to kill me?” Junhoe is still coughing. He rubs his eyes. “I hate you Jiwon.”

“Come on. I’ve choked you before anyway…during sex.” Bobby teases him. The man shoves a potato into his mouth. “Ahhh babe.” He still chews the potato. Good thing it is cold already.

They spend the whole night together under the beautiful night sky with bright shining stars. Forgetting everything and where they are right now, Junhoe leans against Bobby’s chest as the latter carefully wraps his arms around him. They have forgotten that Hanbin and Jinhwan could be watching them. Part of them just don’t care. Part of them just feel like there is something going on between Hanbin and Jinhwan. The two of them share a blanket together as they talk about their dreams, including the impossible ones.

“The bracelet looks pretty on you.” Bobby holds Junhoe’s hand.

“Thanks.” Junhoe glances at him. “No one notices this yet.” He wears other bracelets too. Perhaps that’s why no one notices that.

“Really? Good then.” Bobby kisses his hand softly.

“Can we sleep here? It’s so nice to sleep outdoor like this.”

“Are you sure? What about mosquitoes biting you or insects?” Bobby kisses his neck. “I can’t let them bite you…only I can…” He proceeds to bite his neck.

“Uhhh…Jiwon…” Junhoe tilts his neck. “It tickles.”

“Is it?” He looks into Junhoe’s eyes.

Junhoe nods. He pulls Bobby for a kiss. Greedy. He is impatient and he couldn’t resist Bobby’s lips. Their kiss is sensual. Both take their sweet time, as if it is their first kiss. Slowly, Junhoe allows Bobby’s tongue to taste his mouth and they kiss hard.

_Is someone watching? They don’t know and they don’t care._

_Is someone hurting? They know but they don’t care._

_Being selfish for your happiness?_

“I knew it. I knew it all along. How dare you hide this from me? Hide this from everyone? You are sick. If you don’t love me anymore, then just tell me. Fine. Since you want to hide from me so much…”

“Jinhwan! No! You don’t want to do that.”

“Oh really? Says who?” Jinhwan laughs like a madman. “Watch closely.”


	4. Chapter 4

_“That’s what you get for hiding from me.”_

_“Jinhwan! Have you gone mad?”_

_“Maybe?” Jinhwan tosses the knife aside. “Why do you care?”_

_“Because you love him.”_

_“Ya…I love him but he doesn’t love me anymore.” Jinhwan wipes the blood with his own shirt. “He’s next. Don’t worry, Junhoe. I’d make sure he meets you in heaven.”_

_“Jinhwan, you are out of your mind.” Hanbin grabs his wrist. “Stop this madness.”_

_“Come on, Hanbin. Join me. Kill Bobby too. They deserve this, don’t you think?” Jinhwan touches Hanbin’s cheeks with his bloody fingers. “Bobby doesn’t love you.”_

_“You gonna kill me too?” Bobby is struggling to free his hands and legs but there’s no use. He’s helpless. “Hanbin. Don’t do this.”_

_“Sshhh…Bin…don’t listen to him.” Jinhwan squeezes his cheeks. “Look at me. Listen to your bbuyo here.”_

_Hanbin’s eyes are shaking. With lifeless Junhoe on the bed, Bobby tied to the chair and Jinhwan’s soft gaze gladden his heart, he is stuck between being a human or listening to Jinhwan’s crazy idea._

_“Kim Hanbin. Don’t do this.” Bobby groans._

_“Bin…Hanbin. Look at your bbuyo here. If we let him go…he would tell the police and have me arrested. Do you want that?”_

_“No…”_

_“Good. Now…stab him…” Jinhwan whispers to his ear._

_“No Hanbin. No!”_

~~~

“Mr Koo, are you okay?”

Junhoe nods. “I just…couldn’t sleep for these past few days.” He looks at the security guard, Taeil.

“Have you been getting nightmares?”

“Sort of.” He tries to smile.

He keeps having the same dream ever since he came back from the trip with Jinhwan. It feels odd. He can’t even sleep properly next to Jinhwan now. His dreams keep disturbing him at late night so he decides to sleep alone in other room. Thankfully, Jinhwan doesn’t comment anything about it.

The thought of Jinhwan catching him and Bobby scare him. His dream? It’s scarier. He dreams of Jinhwan tying him so it is a lot easier for him to stab him precisely 50 times with Hanbin trying to stop him. Then Jinhwan plans to kill Bobby next.

He couldn’t sleep. He hasn’t met Bobby yet and he’s been avoiding calls and text messages from the man too.

“If anyone is looking for me…tell them I won’t see visitors today. Cancel all my appointments. Tell Mr Jung to take my place.” Junhoe looks at his secretary.

“Alright, Sir.”

He enters his office, locking the door and shutting the blinds of the window. He stares at his phone. Incoming message.

**Jiwon**  
**10:20AM**  
We need to talk. I know you are reading this.  
Stop hiding from me.  
Please baby…

Junhoe realizes that it is not fair for him to suddenly ignore Bobby for no reason. He finally replies.

**10:30AM**  
**Okay…**  
But…let’s meet somewhere far.

 **Jiwon**  
**10:31AM**  
I’ll pick you up at 11.  
Basement car park.

“What’s the matter?” Bobby looks at him.

~~~

“You think…Junhoe and Bobby…are together...seeing each other?”

“Yes Hanbin.” Jinhwan sits on the couch.

“Well…” He locks the door in his office before he takes a seat facing Jinhwan. “That’s makes the four of us.”

“But us was just…we didn’t mean that.”

“You asked if I regret it so…are you regretting it now?”

Jinhwan keeps quiet. Everything is so fucked up now. He can’t be mad at Junhoe because he made out with Hanbin; twice at the cabin. The night of the barbeque, Hanbin chased him to see if he was okay. Then the two of them were trapped in the devil whispering into their ears. Once again, defeated.

“Look. We need to talk to them. Come clean. If they really are seeing each other…then…I…have to let Bobby go…” Hanbin feels the pain in his chest when he says that. It is easier said than done. He can’t let Bobby go this easily.

But old sparks between him and Jinhwan is getting strong. He loves Jinhwan so much. He never thought he could love Jinhwan again. He suddenly hates being a human with emotions. It’s killing him.

“I can’t let Junhoe go. I love him...although he doesn’t love me anymore…” Jinhwan sighs. He doesn’t know what to do.

“Maybe we should talk about this. We should just…admit it.”

“And then what?” Jinhwan looks at him.

“Take a break from each other.” Hanbin pauses. “I honestly don’t know…”

“You are saying…we should stop seeing each other?”

“I guess so.”

~~~

“But baby…it is just a dream okay. Just a dream.” Bobby calms him down.

“I’m still scared.” Junhoe cries in his arms. “I don’t want to lose you. Please protect me, okay?”

Bobby nods. “I’d protect you.”

Junhoe pulls him for a long kiss. He doesn’t want the time to pass. Every seconds, every minutes, every hours, and everyday feel like a torture now. With the dreams haunting him every night, Junhoe feels restless.

“We’ll be okay.” Bobby holds his cheeks.

But honestly, Bobby isn’t sure at all.

~~~

“A double date?” Bobby looks at Hanbin.

“Yes. It’s been a while since we last saw Junhoe and Jinhwan right? So why not?” Hanbin sits next to him.

“Well…I guess it’s alright.” Bobby smiles at him.

“Perfect! It’s tomorrow night.”

“Why are you always planning something before telling me?”

“Do you have any other plans that I don’t know?” Hanbin folds his arms.

“No. But just…you should have told me first.”

“You never questioned me before.”

“So? Does that mean I can’t start questioning?”

“Okay this conversation is getting pointless.” Hanbin gives up. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

Bobby sighs. It really was pointless but still, Hanbin should have told him first. He quickly text Junhoe about tomorrow night.

~~~

“We meet again.” Jinhwan extends his hand for a handshake.

“Ya. It’s been a while.” Bobby smiles.

The dinner is quiet and awkward. Their conversation just die in the middle or with some dry laugh. They all know they want this dinner to end as fast as they could.

“This won’t work.” Bobby breaks the silence.

“What won’t work? You and Junhoe?” Jinhwan blurts it out.

“Baby…”

“Don’t call me that.” Jinhwan looks at Junhoe.

“Let’s discuss this somewhere, shall we?” Hanbin suggests. He doesn’t want any of them to create a scene.

After a while, they reach somewhere which feels like nowhere. To avoid something from getting too physical, Junhoe decided to share the ride with Hanbin instead. The four of them stand as if they are ready to battle each other.

“How long?” Jinhwan starts first. “You and Bobby…since when?”

“Donghyuk’s party.” Junhoe stares at the ground.

“I knew I felt weird vibe before we attended that party. I never knew…this could happen…” Jinhwan tries not to cry too soon.

“What happened at the party?” Hanbin looks at them.

“You don’t want to know.” Bobby almost whispers.

“They fucked…” Jinhwan closes his eyes. “You two fucked, am I right? No wonder…you smelt different…you smelt like sex. Your hair was disheveled…No wonder.”

“I’m sorry.” Junhoe gulps.

“Sorry? Were you sorry when you and Bobby fucked?” Jinhwan almost raises his voice.

“Alright. Wait.” Hanbin interrupts. “Jinhwan hyung…enough. It’s not fair for you to get angry.”

The attention diverts to Hanbin now. They exchange look, trying to find some answers though they have guessed this before. They notice Jinhwan’s expression changes from angry to anxious.

“But they did behind us first…”

“It doesn’t matter, hyung…” Hanbin takes a deep breath. “Okay. We all screwed up. Just gonna be straightforward with you two.”

“Ohhh…” Bobby nods. “I was right.”

“What?”

“You lock your phone. You have never done that…and bbuyo? Who could that be huh?” Bobby gives a sly smile. “And…I kinda notice since we were at the cabin. You should have at least wake up earlier.”

“Shut up, Kim Jiwon. You gonna pretend that you and Junhoe didn’t spend the whole night by the campfire?” Hanbin grabs his collar.

“Oh. Great that you saw it.”

“Jiwon…” Junhoe looks at him.

“That’s okay babe.” Bobby glances at him.

“Babe. Ahhh… babe.” Jinhwan snorts.

“Awhh what’s wrong bbuyo? Cried singing to a song...because it reminds you of Hanbin…your love story-”

"Shut up!" Hanbin swings his fist to Bobby's face.

Bobby takes a few steps backward after receiving a punch to his face. For someone whose hobby is boxing, Hanbin really is good. He bears the pain, spitting the blood to the ground. “I didn’t lie.”

Bobby sounds cocky that it infuriates Hanbin and Jinhwan.

“So it has come to this?” Junhoe looks at the two of them.

“You cheated on me, Koo Junhoe. I sensed it since…since the shirt…your poems…your poems are vague but I guess I understand now.” Jinhwan glares at him. He wishes he could chew Junhoe.

“I’m sorry…I wasn’t frank with you two.” Junhoe gestures his hand towards Hanbin. “But…”

“But it makes all four of us. We cheat and try to hide.” Bobby spits. “Now what?”

“Now…” Hanbin keeps quiet. “We should do whatever that makes us happy.”

“No. Now…you die.” Jinhwan pulls a gun from his back. “You two…deserve to rot together.”

“Jinhwan please. Don’t do this. This is not what we have discussed.” Hanbin tries to calm him down.

“Right. This is what I’ve been discussing with myself.”

“Kim Jinhwan.”

Jinhwan knows he isn’t strong enough for this. His vision is blurred with the tears flooding in his eyes. He hates Junhoe and Bobby so much right now but he can’t end their lives because they cheated behind him and Hanbin. It is ironic. He and Hanbin fucked up too. He slowly drop the gun to the ground, wailing his heart out.

Junhoe’s knees became weak when he saw Jinhwan pointing the gun to his direction. He hates gun. Gun reminds him of an incident back in high school when he saw his best friend was shot by a robber. The incident happened scars him for life.

“Please…it’s okay. It’s okay.” Hanbin kicks the gun as far as it could go. He hugs Jinhwan tightly, comforting the smaller guy.

“Not to ruin the moment…but…you two…” Bobby rubs his jaw. It is still painful. “Damn it Hanbin.”

“You kinda deserve that.” Hanbin looks at him. “Look. Let’s…stay apart from each other.” He glances at Jinhwan who still has tears in his eyes.

“Great. We go each other’s way.” Junhoe carefully approaches Hanbin and Jinhwan. “Look. All four of us are dumb anyway. We all fall in love at the wrong time.” He pauses. “I opened my heart for someone else when I’m…or was…seeing Jinhwan…hyung.” It feels odd to say ‘hyung’ now.

“We are all at fault.” Hanbin squeezes Jinhwan’s shoulder.

“Let’s…take a break.” Bobby approaches them. “And still…damn it Hanbin. It hurts like shit.” He walks away.

“Jiwon. Wait…” Junhoe looks at him but he keeps walking.

“Fine. Go to him.” Jinhwan wipes his tears. “You love him more now…I can see that…you don’t even look at me with that eyes anymore. It feels different.” He clears his throat. Tough for him to throw these words to Junhoe. “Go to him.”

Hanbin watches Junhoe chases after Bobby. His heart aches. He wishes Bobby could look at him one last time and hug him, kiss him again but he could only wish. They had a bit of fun together and now those are just memories.

But he hates himself also. Hates how he fell for Jinhwan again. He is afraid if the feeling doesn’t last long. He is afraid if the devil was just messing with him.

“Do you…really love me…again…or is it just…because of Junhoe?” Hanbin doesn’t know how to say these words without hurting Jinhwan and he hopes he doesn’t hurt the man.

“Frankly…I’m not sure.” Jinhwan sighs. “I’m sorry for giving you hope. I don’t know if I’m ready to be in love again.”

Hanbin just nods. “Okay…I understand.” It feels like a double blow to his life. “It would take time.” He whispers.

“I’m sorry. You must be confused.”

“Sort of.” Hanbin forces a smile. “Let me take you home.”

~~~

"Jiwon. Wait." 

Bobby stops walking. He turns around. "Look Junhoe...I really love you...so much. Now that I seem to like...break my promise. I told you I would do anything and that I'd protect you." He takes a deep a breath. "But right now...I don't even know how to protect myself."

"So, you just gonna leave me?" 

"Maybe." Bobby touches his cheeks. 

"Do you feel guilty for...lying...cheating behind Hanbin?"

"I do now." He smiles a bit. "But I can't turn back time, right?"

Junhoe nods. "But do you regret every seconds with me?"

"Never." Bobby presses his lips on Junhoe's lips. "I love you, Koo Junhoe."

Junhoe watches Bobby walks away from him, slowly further from where he stands at right now till the man disappears from his sight. He doesn't know what to do now. Everything happened too quickly. From Jinhwan and Hanbin old love story till they made out to the two of them finding out that he and Bobby cheated behind them, to this confrontation that almost ended up with blood and tragedy to them deciding to stay apart from each other despite not agreeing full heartedly.

He takes a taxi to his house and hopes that Jinhwan isn't there. 

"Ohh...Junhoe..." Jinhwan looks at him. 

He gulps. "Jinhwan..."

"Hyung. Call me hyung." 

"Look, about..."

"I don't want to talk about it. You love...Bobby...go to him." Jinhwan smiles a bit.

Junhoe just keeps quiet. He plops onto the couch with his head messed up with everything that just happened. He slowly dozes off after a few minutes.

_"I've told you...you die..."_

_Junhoe struggles to breathe as he wriggles his body trying to escape but after a while, all his limbs stop moving._


	5. Chapter 5

Jinhwan wipes his face. He keeps his things at the trunk then changes his shirt into a new one.

“So tired.”

He sits at the driver’s seat. Drinking the mango juice and enjoying full blast air conditioner in his car with songs accompanying him, he leans against the seat.

“Jinhwan…”

He glances at Hanbin.

“Please…” Hanbin’s voice is shaky. He hates being in this position now.

“What? Are you hungry or something?” Jinhwan leans closer. “Thirsty?” He plays with Hanbin’s hair.

“I just want to go home.”

“Fine. Let’s go home. You are not fun.” Jinhwan puts his seat properly before shifting the gear to drive.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I hate cheaters.” Jinhwan glances at him. “I. Hate. Cheaters.”

“But…us…”

“Was a mistake but ya…maybe I hate us too.”

“I have forgiven Jiwon.” Hanbin wiggles a bit. It feels so uncomfortable. “Why can’t you?”

“How can you forgive him easily? He cheated on you. He fucked…Junhoe…” Jinhwan grips the steering wheel tightly. The thought of Junhoe and Jiwon making out haunt him although he had never seen them with his two eyes. 

“Because…I was weak too. What’s the point? I am mad at Jiwon but…I did the same and-”

“ENOUGH!” Jinhwan hits the brake. “Enough. Us…that was a mistake.”

“And them too. What they did was a mistake.”

“Why are you defending him?” Jinhwan almost raises his voice. “Why…you sound like…”

“Because we…WE cheated too.” Hanbin looks into his eyes. “We…both of us. Mistake or not…we did it…” He pauses. “There’s no difference…except…”

“That they are in love.” Jinhwan looks down. He couldn’t hide his tears from running down his cheeks.

“Yes…and we are just frustrated people who remember their university days.” Hanbin looks outside. He sighs. What went wrong? Could they actually saved the relationship? Why he forgives Jiwon?

Jinhwan sobs thinking of all the memories with Junhoe. They had their moments. They were happy. People love seeing them together. People call them cute because of the height difference and how extra tiny Jinhwan looks in Junhoe’s arms.

He wishes he could turn back time. He wishes…

~~~

“I’ll get the door.” Donghyuk gets up from the couch. “Huh…Jinhwan hyung.”

“Who’s that?” Yunhyeong wipes his hands. “Donghyuk? Kim Donghyuk you better answer…me…”

“You are quick. Luckily. He lost so much blood but he’d be fine. He is very weak right now. The knife almost hits his vital organ. Thank God, it misses by 1mm…and the perpetrator just left the knife there. We sent it to check for any fingerprints.” Doctor Yoo smiles to comfort Yunhyeong.

Yunhyeong is relieved. He almost collapsed after seeing Donghyuk lying at the door with blood pooling on the floor. He thanked the doctor again.

“By the way, maybe the police would come to ask something…if you want to proceed to find who did this.”

“Uhhh…okay. I guess…I’ll just let the police take my statement first.” Yunhyeong forces a smile. He bows to the doctor before he excuses himself to see Donghyuk.

“Baby…who would do such a thing to you? Who was at the door?” Yunhyeong touches his cheeks.

~~~

Junhoe is drenched in sweat when he finally wakes up from his horrible dream. He looks around his apartment. Bright lights accompany him to sleep. He has been scared. So scared.

After confronting each other about a month ago, Junhoe left his shared apartment with Jinhwan on the same night. He came back next day to take all his things. Jinhwan wasn’t even looking at him and he understood that. Good thing he didn’t put his old apartment on sale so he just returned there.

About one month since that night which means it has been a month since he last saw Jiwon as well. He couldn’t reach Jiwon’s phone. He sent text on KKT but his messages were not even read. He assumed Jiwon has changed his phone number.

And ever since that night too, he couldn’t sleep well. He keeps having nightmare. Nightmare about Jinhwan killing everyone including him. He had that dream before they confronted each other but these dreams get worse day by day.

Jinhwan had a gun. Jinhwan was trying to kill him and Jiwon.

_“Ding!”_

Every time the door bells, Junhoe freaks out. He moves quietly to check who’s at the door. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Jiwon!”

“God. Finally.” Jiwon hugs him back. “Finally.” He shuts his eyes, hugging the younger man tightly. His search was fruitful. Good thing he has a friend to look up for Junhoe's address.

“Jiwon. I miss you so much. Jiwon please…I thought I was going to die.” Junhoe sobs.

“Me too. Me too.” Jiwon kisses his forehead. “Let’s get inside.”

They lay on the bed in silence for a few minutes after their love making which was emotional, somehow, when both Junhoe and Jiwon couldn’t stop crying. Crying because they have missed each other so much. Crying because Junhoe immediately feels safe in Jiwon’s arms. Crying because he thought he could never meet Jiwon anymore.

Jiwon puts his cigarette aside. He turns to look at Junhoe.

“Sleeping?”

Junhoe shakes his head. “Jiwon…where did go?”

“Hiding.” Jiwon stares blankly. “Hiding…far. I wasn’t even in Korea.”

“Well…that explains.” Junhoe slowly sits. “I went to your house but only found Hanbin there. He was okay…he was calm to tell me the address of your old house but ya. It was locked.”

“I’m sorry. I was a coward. I went to the U.S the next morning. That’s why even Hanbin didn’t know this.” Jiwon looks at him. “I’m sorry I just…left without saying anything.”

“I was really scared, Jiwon. I quit my job. I started to do my work from home only. I leave home just for groceries and nothing else. I’m scared.” Junhoe hugs him tightly.

“I feel bad for leaving you alone here. I should have taken you to America with me.” Jiwon pauses. “Maybe I should take you this time.”

“To America?” Junhoe’s expression changes.

“Yes. Just the two of us.” Bobby sits facing him. “What do you think?”

Junhoe kisses his lips softly. “That’s my answer. Yes. Take me far away, Jiwon.” He kisses the man again.

“I will babe…I will…” Jiwon kisses him.

“Junhoe. Junhoe. Baby…wake up baby. Babe.” Jiwon touches his cheeks.

“Noooo! No. No.” Junhoe opens his eyes. “You are here. You are here. Yes.” He hugs Jiwon tightly. “Good…good…” He is sweating; again. It’s that dream.

“Did you have nightmares?”

Junhoe nods. “It’s the same one…everyday…I’m scared, Jiwon.”

“Sshhh…it’s okay. I’m here.” Jiwon pulls him into his embrace, calming him down with lullaby.

Eventually, Junhoe falls asleep. Jiwon notices how pale Junhoe looks and still sweating. He wonders what Junhoe has been dreaming. The same dream? What dream?

“I dream that…Jinhwan kills us all. All. Including Hanbin.” Junhoe wraps himself with the blanket. “Ever since that night…I become scared. He was holding a gun for God’s sake.”

Jiwon stands by the window as he listens to Junhoe. He feels bad for leaving Junhoe alone in fear and not even trying to reach the latter. He slowly takes a seat next to him.

“I’m so sorry. I’ve promised to protect you but I left you alone.” He hugs Junhoe. “Pack your things. We are leaving in 2 days.”

“Are you serious?”

Jiwon nods. “Look. Neither of us want to see Jinhwan and Hanbin again right? Do you want to live happily with me?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes I do want to live happily with you.” Junhoe holds his cheeks, kissing the man’s lips again and again.

“Good. Then we’ll leave this place…far from them.” Jiwon looks into his eyes. “Just you and me.”

“Just you and me.” Junhoe smiles.

~~~

_“You are nuts.”_

_“I guess I am…”_

“Kim Jiwon.”

Jiwon puts his notebook on the table. He looks at the man standing facing him. Nervous but he tries to keep himself compose. He gestures the man to join him at the table.

“It’s been a while, Jiwon.”

“Hanbin.” Jiwon takes a sip of his drink.

“Where have you been? America?” Hanbin notices Jiwon looks calm. “Of course you went there. Why didn’t I think of that earlier.”

Jiwon keeps quiet for a moment. He examines Hanbin from head to toe. Looks fine, hair needs some haircut but he seems dull. His gaze isn’t actually soft but more like a tired one.

“How are you?” Jiwon hesitates at first.

“I’m fine. Hmmm…it was hard to move on but…I have no say to you, Jiwon because…” Hanbin forces a smile. “But Jinhwan hyung…”

“What’s with him?”

“I love him so much. I thought I could be with him after I just let you go with Junhoe but…all he thinks about is Junhoe.” Hanbin sighs.

Maybe Hanbin partially lies. Yes, Jinhwan thinks about Junhoe but not a beautiful thought. Jinhwan also thinks about Jiwon but in a way that Hanbin finds it scary. He can’t really tell Jiwon what has been going on.

“Are you still…seeing him?”

Hanbin nods. “Always. I guess I have hopes.” He smiles. “Probably because he loves Junhoe a lot but…you know…I was his first love. He comes at me, still hangs out with me. One moment he says screw Koo Junhoe then next moment he cries after we made love. Like he feels he is cheating on cheater Junhoe.”

Jiwon tries to process everything he just heard. He finds something very off then he remembers about Junhoe’s nightmare. What if the nightmare isn’t just a nightmare?

“He is so stupid. Why can’t he just let Junhoe go? We all fucked up anyway.” Hanbin shuts his eyes.

“What about you? Do you really let me go?”

“Of course.” Hanbin answers almost immediately. “No point holding you back anyway when you don’t look at me anymore.”

Jiwon nods. “Thanks…I guess and I’m sorry.”

“Just don’t cheat on Junhoe then. You look so in love so please don’t cheat on him. It goes for Junhoe also.” Hanbin looks at him. “Live happily.”

“Thanks again, Hanbin. You too…please live happily. You deserve more happiness. Get rid of people who is like a burden or…ya…” Jiwon pauses. He meant Jinhwan. He hopes Hanbin gets it.

“Well, I gotta go now. See you around.”

“See you and take care, Hanbin.”

~~~

“Hello. Junhoe? Koo Junhoe.” Jiwon locks the door. He is shocked to see the condition of the house. “Junhoe…are you there?” He gulps.

He walks slowly to see if there is someone else in the house. There is no sign of Junhoe. The house is too quiet and are in a mess. If this was burglary, Junhoe could be hiding somewhere or is held hostage but there is no sign of forced entry which means Junhoe knows who came.

“Kim Jinhwan.”

_“all he thinks about is Junhoe"_  
_“he is so stupid. Why can’t he just let Junhoe go?”_

Jiwon tries to calm himself and hope his assumption is wrong. The apartment is small anyway and he has done searching for Junhoe at every corner of the house. Sucks. Junhoe’s phone is on the table.

“He was…on instagram.” Jiwon puts the phone on the table again.

It seems that Junhoe locks the phone immediately without exiting the app. He is suddenly lost. He doesn’t know how should he start to find Junhoe.

“What the hell?” Hanbin could not believe what he just heard. He quickly makes his way to see Jinhwan.

“Finally.”

“What the hell Jinhwan?” Hanbin could not think of other words besides that. “Jinhwan.”

“What? I’ve warned them.” Jinhwan gives a sly smile.

“Hyung…but why?”

“If I can’t be happy then neither of them can.” Jinhwan laughs but his face turns gloomy. He sobs. “Neither of them can be happy…they drove me to commit the same mistake…us? It was their fault. THEIR FAULT!”

“Hyung!” Hanbin holds his arms tightly. “Stop. Please.”

“Too late.” Jinhwan looks at him.

“What do you mean?”

Hanbin couldn’t sleep that night. He tosses and turns, trying to find the best position to sleep but he is wide awake. He tries all the tips he searched online but still couldn’t sleep.

His phone buzzes.

An unknown caller.

“The police think his car has been sabotaged. His car hit the tree and the impact was strong because he wasn’t wearing a seat belt and the airbag was not functioning.” The coroner, whose name is also Kim Jiwon, flips through her report as she meets Hanbin.

“Ohhh…” Hanbin is too devastated when he hears this. He follows the coroner to identify Jiwon’s body.

“But the police is going to investigate further. They said there is something weird…and when I’m done with my autopsy and report, then I can conclude the cause of death.” She smiles a bit.

“Doctor Kim. A couple who said they are Mr…Koo Junhoe’s parents are waiting outside.”

“Thanks, Juyeon.”

“Koo…Junhoe…?” Hanbin feels dizzy. He almost falls to the floor but his hand quickly grabs the cupboard, pushing the utensils to the floor instead.

“NO!” Hanbin wipes his sweat. He switches on the light as he runs to the kitchen to drink water. “No. No. No. Goodness. Good thing it was just a dream.”

“Are you okay?” Jinhwan stands behind him, rubbing his shoulder with his tiny hands.

“Yea…I had the weirdest dream.” He looks at the smaller guy. “You love me right?”

Jinhwan nods. “And yes, I’ve let Junhoe go. I met him, remember. We talked and we sent both him and Jiwon to the airport.”

“Right.” Hanbin closes his eyes. “I’m sorry I still freak out.”

“I understand. I was…a little unstable but you help me. A lot.” Jinhwan kisses his cheeks. “And you make me realize that just because I lost someone to another person, it doesn’t mean I can’t be in love again.” He smiles. “Although…ya…we also cheated.”

“Ssshhh. You were right. It was a mistake. But let’s not do that again? Please?” He hugs Jinhwan’s waist.

“I don’t want to do that again. It sucks but…it happened.” Jinhwan sits on his laps. “I love you, Kim Hanbin. Don’t doubt that.”

Jinhwan has learned to love Hanbin again and let go of the past. It was a long, tough journey but Jinhwan has really let Junhoe go to Jiwon forever. Everyone deserves to be happy which include him and Hanbin too.

“I love you too…”

“But we deserve to be happy, right?” Junhoe glances at Jiwon. He rubs Jiwon’s arms around him with both covered with blanket.

Both Jiwon and Junhoe are in their apartment at New York. It has been 4 months since they left Seoul which means 3 months since they met Jinhwan and Hanbin again to have a proper, adult conversation. They talked a lot, talked deeply into this and keep apologizing for what had happened. But they are all just human who made mistake, who fell into a trap that they all knew none of them wanted to leave the trap as time goes by.

“Of course. Now, we already talked about this with both Jinhwan hyung and Hanbin. They seem happy together also.” Jiwon kisses his head.

“Hmmm okay. You are right. I’m just…over thinking again.” Junhoe looks at him. “I love you, Jiwon.”

“I love you too.” Jiwon kisses his lips softly.

Cheat or falling in love with the right person but at the wrong time? Maybe both. But does that even make sense? Does falling in love at the wrong time validates their love? They all did cheat. They hid the fact because they were busy writing their own love story. While the two are madly in love, the other two lost to temptation of their old love story and reignite the flame between them.

Do they deserve to be happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well........i know it is confusing to read. it was confusing for me to write also but here you go.

**Author's Note:**

> anon gave idea on my cc. maybe i'd change a bit. we'll see.


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